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Editor’s Choice: Helpless Heart

by / 0 Comments / 06/01/2017

I don’t wanna eat but my stomach feels empty
I feel like I’m going crazy
Always have company but I’ve never felt so lonely

Depressed isn’t the word I’m looking for but it’s the only thing that explains this hurt
Something’s missing inside, I swear to you I’m going berserk
Responsibilities are piling on top of me but I feel like I’ve got a curse
Preventing me from doing my work.

Pain, insane, inflamed;
A brain constantly split between a need for affection and always feeling ashamed
Suffocated by my lack of progress, strangled by expectations, comparisons,
And my need for constant attention
I feel so alone, so cold …
I need my time to myself but every time I’m alone my heart turns cold
With these cards I’m dealt all I can do is fold
But my poker face shows bravery and confidence
If I show something is wrong I’ll need to explain
And who’s there to get me through this feeling of feeling blue?
Who has a clue?
Who knows how I feel? Who would understand my need to conceal, and at the same time
The need to have someone with me to get me through?

I’m in a lose-lose position because I don’t even know what I need
But I’m so vulnerable I’d take you even if all you did was make me bleed
Constantly poring my heart out to people I don’t know
And I know what I’m saying is intense, but I have so much hurt to let out, and I guess,
It’s because I’m trying to write away these emotions —
I’m just a broken man looking to find his peak
And if a hand’s offered to me I pray it’ll help me stay on my feet
And praying is the last thing on my mind and I guess that’s the cause of all this

Walked away from my faith and now I’m ashamed
To ask God for help
I wonder if there’s a point of me asking if I haven’t even started to repent
But God is all forgiving and that’s what keeps me breathing
I hope to get out of this phase but just don’t see it
I need some positive energy … feel like it’s all been taken out of me
Where do you look when you can’t find it in your friends or family?
I see the happiness in others, I tell my self the grass is always greener
Enough to get me to sleep.

I wake up
And see a real reason to cry.
Someone has lost their leg, and I only feel like I’ve lost my mind
I’m confused as to weather I should feel stressed or blessed
I feel like my heart’s broken
But I know I’ve never been in love
And love is something I want but I don’t think it’s something I can have
… I’d rather be asleep than awake …

I guess I’ve got my feelings tangled!
But if I look at it from another angle,
I could just sleep and dream
Of love and happiness
Escape this bitter world
And all its draining sadness

I swear sleep calls to me because I always feel drained
Can’t get any work done
My euphoria requires me not to be awake.

Enslaved by emotions with happiness locked away
I just wish this hurt feeling would go,
Let me live my life free of the pain;

Right now you’re a few hundred miles away
If only you could feel how much my heart aches

Tell me you don’t care about me so I don’t have to feel this way;
I just wanna know how much of my heart to put at stake

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