Tired of feeling weak and lost? Not knowing what to do to improve your life or how to do it? The next six tips could change that forever!
Establishing our identities, our personalities and convictions is hard enough, but maintaining them through the onslaught that is life, is sometimes a tougher challenge yet. Here is a straightforward guide to help you along.
1) Must spend time alone finding out who you are
Our society puts a strong emphasis on individualism, yet often we know more about celebrities, our friends and family than we do about ourselves. There is an old African proverb that says, ‘If there is no enemy within, the enemy outside cannot harm us’. The key to building up self-confidence is to get to know yourselves deeply. In order to do this you must actively spend time alone, find out your likes, dislikes, fears, inhibitions, strengths and weaknesses. You cannot build self-esteem without a strong foundation of self-knowledge. The second step is accepting yourself for who you are — even the parts you don’t like (yet). If you cannot love yourself, how can you ever accept anyone else’s love? That doesn’t mean there isn’t room for improvement, there always is for everyone. Strive to be the very best version of yourself and you cannot fail.
2) Without purpose you cannot have conviction
If you don’t aim you cannot shoot. The results are fruitless — a waste of time and resources. Find the values that define you and live by them. What are your key non-negotiable rules and moral code for day-to-day life? Such as respect, equality, kindness etc. Decide how you want to live life, think about what makes you happy and the type of people that fit into that vision. Beyond that, envision the life you want and then make steps towards achieving it.
3) Be the game maker — be the game changer
Life is a game, so play it, but don’t just abide by the rules, decide on your rules of engagement. Before you walk out your front door decide your objectives for that day and set out to achieve them. Whether that be putting up your washing, studying or finding a job. When you walk into a room do the same, if you walk into a social gathering or a networking event decide what you want to achieve. This is the best way to optimise your time and be more productive. The more decisive you are, the faster you will get to where you want to go.
4) Your experiences shape who you are
There is no light without darkness, there is no joy without pain and there can be no appreciation of happiness without having experienced sadness. Your experiences really do make you who you are so don’t avoid them, don’t reject them; learn from them. Also, don’t be ashamed of having emotional reactions, emotions make you human. Even if you don’t understand them, listen to your feelings, as they’re offering guidance.
5) We all break, we all fall but it’s how you tackle your challenges that makes the difference
Nobody is impenetrably strong, nobody is unbreakable. It’s impossible. Part and parcel of being human, is being subject to and influenced by our emotions. All the motivational messages you hear about great people fearlessly tackling life are misleading. All the strongest people you know have been afraid, they may be afraid today and will certainly be afraid in the future. The fundamental difference is that whatever they do, whatever they have to face; they feel the fear but do it anyway. Don’t let fear limit you, let it be the impetus for self-improvement. We cannot go through life being afraid of what may or may not be. We cannot prevent our trials and tribulations, but we can control how we react to them. Rather than seeing failure and suffering as final we must strive to take these setbacks as learning opportunities.
6) The glass is neither half full nor half empty — it’s both
See situations from both sides, try to understand other people’s motivations and reasons — why they did what they did. People aren’t always looking to hurt you or spite you, sometimes they harm you unintentionally. Those who attack you, gossip about you and wish you ill, are probably envious of something you have that they don’t. Often they are lashing out on you because they have had a bad day, and/or they have insecurities and problems and no matter how wrong it is, they take it out on you. Above all, people’s interactions are defined by their current mental state. Negative interactions therefore are more a reflection of a person’s present state of mind than a personal attack on you. This is a truth that we are all hard pressed to remember in the heat of the moment, but one we must make a conscious effort to acknowledge.
For more inspiration, wait for my next post!
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