I woke up today and opened Instagram. Rewatched the story I posted last night and swiped up to check how many views and likes it got—twelve, not bad. Then I checked my emails. Great, another three rejections from another three jobs I should be qualified for. After obsessing over my resume for a few hours, rereading the bullet points that quantify my worth, I gave up and opened Tinder—99+ new likes. Well, there’s some validation at least. I laced up my trainers, clicked start on Strava and headed out for a 5k run, desperate for a personal best.
A Social Media Toy
It’s hard to be you when you are constantly selling a curated image of yourself. In today’s digital world, it feels like everybody has a brand. Everyone seems preoccupied with measuring their worth in numbers; from social media likes to time spent on the Fitbit to the size of their paycheck. Sometimes I feel like I’m always playing Top Trumps, always competing, trying to be the strongest card. Prettiest, most popular, smartest, fittest … anything that makes me stand out from the crowd. Maybe I’m paving my way to success, or maybe I’m building my own prison. Casing myself in plastic packaging, trapping myself in a box and sitting on the shelf. Posing for the queue of hungry shoppers — followers on Instagram, men on Tinder, recruiters on LinkedIn. They pick you, play with you, then throw you away.
Unhealthy Competition
Social media gives us effortless access to people’s lives, or rather, their highlight reels. It’s no wonder then that we’re so busy comparing and obsessing instead of appreciating and enjoying what we already have. And let’s not forget for a second that these channels and apps are designed to be addictive and keep us scrolling by feeding on our deepest insecurities. The job market and the dating pool are dire and prime examples of the level of competition out there. Today’s job seekers and singles are no longer only competing against local candidates, but with people from across the country and the world.
Under Pressure
There is relentless pressure to achieve and hit certain milestones by a certain age. It’s easy to feel like a failure if you don’t have the perfect relationship, a high-salaried career that reflects your passions, a vibrant social life and a toned body to go with it. Realistically, nobody has it all. Life is messy, imperfect, and unpredictable. When we try to squeeze it all in for the sake of building an aesthetic or a brand, we lose a lot of that magic, spontaneity and originality that makes each person’s life unique. Living life like a pressure cooker is just no fun. Maybe it’s time we hit the Off button before we explode.
Resetting
Nobody stands up at a funeral and recounts how the deceased had 50k Instagram followers and could run a sub-20-minute 5k. People won’t remember you for how skinny you were or how much money you earned. They will remember the ways you made them laugh, your kindness and your quirks. If we saw our own worth through these things instead, maybe we could all learn to be happy again.
Social media has become an integral part of modern life and offers many advantages that make life more interesting and accessible. I certainly don’t think that deleting our apps or blocking TikTok is a realistic long-term solution. But being more mindful, more aware, of how we use these modern resources may help us to measure our successes and failures more soberly, without beating ourselves up.
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