Let’s be honest. Dating apps are exhausting. Nothing bores me like twenty minutes of tedious swiping through a sea of emotionally unavailable men who send the same cringe and inappropriate pick-up lines. Nothing, that is, except being chatted up in a loud bar or on a sweaty dance floor by a handsy drunk man.
That’s why many women turn to safe spaces like the gym for a little self-care, but without the pressure of romantic entanglements — or so I thought.
All the Single Ladies …
According to a recent NHS survey, young adults are drinking less. Data reveals that 24 per cent of young people didn’t drink anything in 2024, an increase from 19 per cent in 2022. As drinking and partying become less typical of Gen Z’s lifestyle, many have also started to turn their backs on the dating apps. Of course, while many people continue to find love through these means, connections in bars and on Hinge can feel superficial, forced, and hard to establish. In their place, running clubs, climbing gyms, and group fitness spaces are emerging once again as potential dating environments.
What starts as a workout often turns into post-run coffees, shared routines, and recurring familiarity, creating natural opportunities for connection. This shift reflects broader cultural changes: post-pandemic loneliness, a desire for community, and a growing focus on health and self-improvement. Fitness spaces offer a refreshing alternative to swipe culture, where connections are found through shared interests and values rather than curated profiles. However, when wellbeing spaces are transformed into dating arenas, they can become less comfortable and more competitive. And when it feels like people are there to find love more than friendship, enjoyment, or to better themselves, well, that’s just a little disappointing.
A Healthier Way to Date?
But is this a healthier way to meet people or just another social performance that we’ll soon tire of?
Full disclosure: I met my boyfriend at our local climbing gym. It was cool to meet through a shared passion and to become friends in a relaxed, low-pressure and sober environment before starting to date. Wellbeing spaces make it easier to organically meet both friends and potential partners who share your values and interests. As the vibe is usually comfortable and informal, there is no explicit ‘date or reject’ moment, as is the case with apps, allowing relationships to develop gradually and more naturally. Personally, I love that dating no longer has to revolve around loud music, expensive drinks, or debilitating hangovers. And, if you don’t meet anybody that strikes your fancy, no matter. You’ll still find like-minded people, learn a new skill, boost your wellbeing, and above all, have fun. Unlike swiping through apps and going on unpredictable Tinder dates, the experience of doing something you love will never feel like a waste of time.
The problem is when hobby and fitness spaces evolve into exclusive dating environments. When I go to the climbing gym, I go there to climb and to hang out with friends. I hate, for instance, when I’m training, and a guy comes over to mansplain how I should climb a problem in a misguided attempt to flirt. Or when I’m talking to a man and think I’ve made a new friend, only to realise he only ever approaches single women for a chat. When people come to fitness spaces with the sole aim of hooking up, it can make the space stiflingly uncomfortable for everyone else by ruining the inclusive community atmosphere and making it harder to build friendships. When you’re constantly checking yourself in the mirror instead of feeling relaxed and enjoying the activity, you might want to reconsider your priorities.
The Gym is ‘Like a Zoo’
I go to the gym to care for myself, not to sell a curated image. In her article about dating at the local climbing gym, Jenna Ryu explores how people go explicitly to meet other single people. ‘I’ve been hit on more here than at a café or bar,’ one person reveals. ‘If you come here every day, I guarantee you’ll find at least one person you’re attracted to,’ laughs another. But not everyone joins a club to flirt. For many, romantic advances can feel intrusive and uncomfortable, especially if rejection makes future sessions awkward. The gym is ‘kind of like a zoo,’ says Jenna. I certainly don’t want to be ogled and perceived as if I’m a zoo animal when I’m trying to work out.
It is worth remembering that fitness spaces have always been social spaces. Long before dating apps, people met partners through shared hobbies, sports clubs, and community groups. There is nothing inherently wrong with noticing someone at your running club or climbing gym and wanting to get to know them better. In most instances, this is a perfectly healthy, organic way to connect. The difference lies in how it’s done.
Approaching someone should be respectful, low-pressure, and mindful of the fact that they are primarily there to work out, not to be pursued. A friendly conversation is one thing. But repeated interruptions, unsolicited advice, or ignoring cues that someone isn’t interested is another. If fitness spaces are to remain positive environments, flirting needs to be grounded in mutual interests and basic respect — not entitlement or persistence that becomes harassment.
Ultimately, the question isn’t whether gyms and running clubs should be ‘hassle-free’ or entirely romance-free. That they never were. The question is whether connecting remains optional rather than expected. A healthy wellness community allows for friendship, attraction, and even relationships to develop naturally. But it should equally allow people to get on with their business without feeling watched and evaluated, or being treated as a prospective romantic target.
If fitness spaces are to offer a genuine alternative to swipe culture, they must preserve what makes them appealing in the first place: shared purpose, mutual respect, and the freedom to simply show up as yourself.
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